After I read this post at Russian Ramblings. I started thinking about a few friendships I have walked away from because of some harsh words or some spiky, defensive behavior, or the times when I chased some friends away when I fell into a depression or had some difficulties and took some of it out on my friends even though I would regret it later.
When a friend is pushing you away and is behaving in a very unfriendly manner, it is often a sign of shutting down the emotional grid. Sometimes you have to think about whether or not you can actually help them without going down with the relationship. You have to assess your abilities and strengths and see how they match up with the difficulties. You may have to back off a little, but a few well meaning questions, a low pressure invitation, just a “hey, did ya know I was thinking about you” approach can make a big difference. Maybe your friend just needs to know who her real friends are, friends that will hang in there through the tough battles. Just because someone lights your bridge on fire, doesn’t mean you have to let it burn, or that you can’t come back in a little while in a small boat and talk about rebuilding.
Myriad Ways 
I like the idea of rebuilding (sorry for the lateness, I meant to comment earlier, oy vey!), but what about when you’ve been picking up scraps of wood for the past two years, and just when you thought they were ready to dig in their heels and build, they just douse you in gasoline and throw a match?
After the first burn, you have to be a little wary, and if your friend is truly ready to rebuild, they will understand your need to take it one step at a time. It only works if you are both motivated. The one who burns needs to build her side too. You can suggest the plan, but if you don’t see any remorse or effort on the other side, why bother? If your friend is busy building the bridge then she will be invested in it, and less likely to burn it again. I am not suggesting that anyone should go back into any relationship that ended badly without one eye open for the gasoline can. That is what makes it a challenge. After the second bridge goes up in smoke, it is time for somebody else to give it a try. Hopefully you have a life full of bridges that have never been burned and some new ones you are working on. If you are relying on one bridge to connect with humanity, you really need to start a few new projects anyway. I am pretty sure that this is not your problem. You probably have nice network of healthy connections. In that case, give it a cautious shot, and then walk away hoping she finds someone she can work with.