I have tried to figure out how to make consistent blogging work with my new job. It is quite a problem as my job and commute take up much of my day five days a week, and on weekends I have to manage to do everything else that my life requires like laundry and other such tasks necessary to the maintenance of a reasonable life. On top of that I added dental work to my list today, but I am going to put this out now, partially to distract from the pain coming from my mouth.
I have once again fallen into my old pattern of slogging through whatever my life is at the time. This just makes me apathetic and tired, but the effort of writing or art seems monumental at time. Inertial forces build up the more I avoid creative work to the point that I feel the effort is beyond me, until something inside me, I don’t know what it is, like my system reboots after being bogged down to the point of power off. So here I am again wanting to create something interesting. I don’t really care what it is. I just want it to be uniquely mine. Not from a pattern or kit.
Last weekend I started this process by going to my local recycled hardware store (ReStore) and bought some stone tiles and a metal bracket that looks like a piece of sculpture. If it was 20 feet long and laying on a street corner in my town it would be a sculpture. I added to this collection a cover from a watch I dismantled. I arranged them and started to take pictures.
As I worked with the pictures I could feel my mood lifting. This is way it goes with me. I keep my head down and get through life, until I run into a wall and then I have to paint a mural on whatever I run into. Unfortunately with me moods come and go and I am rarely able to hold on to this feeling of creativity. I must be vigilant and obsessive or it runs like paint through my cupped fingers. The stains just remind me of effort, but not the process of making something new. That is where the power is. That is what drives the desire to do more in many ways. Writing comes easier when I am making stuff with my hands or working on photographs. Drawing and making are easier when I am writing. When it starts flowing I just have to keep it going, or get out the big slogging boots again.