Tarot Journal #9: Page of Swords/Eight of Disks

Searching for Intentional Balance

These days I am developing a more mindful approach to move out into the world, endeavoring to nurture those skills and practices I value and reduce my load of fear and need for control. It is a delicate balance. One part pulling toward letting loose and the other more practical. I am looking for a good equilibrium between action and attention, walking in the world with passion, an open heart and care for relationships, while maintaining the grounding that keeps me true to my life and those I love.

The challenge is to respond to emergent events with care and thoughtful explorations instead of fear, keeping myself in the moment and not letting my mind go rampaging into the future, searching out the worst possible outcomes. If everything is alright now, and the world I can perceive is constantly changing in a few more minutes I might have better information that clarifies my approach to a problem. I can stay open to all the possibilities and choose the best option for everyone involved, at least from my limited point of view. There are times when fast action can prevent disaster, but most life decisions have a broad reaction time. If I can stay aware and curious, I can choose when to act. That is sometimes risky, but more often hasty actions, brought about by fear or anger, have had negative effects on my life and my relationships with others. An open mind looking for options will lead to better outcomes. I am moving through my days with a slower more thoughtful process, asking myself clarifying questions and examining my state of mind. It is my overarching project as I deal with grief and complexities involved in exploring the rest of my life keeping as many doors in my heart and mind open to possibilities, learning as I go.

This entry was posted in All part of the process, Being Human, change, discovery and recovery, Loss and Leaving, mindworks, my life, paying attention, Self-Experiments, thinking in words, Uncategorized, Works in Progress and tagged , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

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