Beginning with a Weightless Step

There is a constant process of reaching out into the world, natural and cultural, drawing inspiration, breathing in and combining external material with the material that has been internalized or exists in my subconscious memories, visions and the mysterious music of my mind and heart. Often the product of this mixing comes out in my dreams. But usually, in forms so rough and haphazard, it takes me a while to figure out what, if any, I will be able to put into a form that I can integrate into a learning, and eventually, a sharing process.

The Queen of Wands tells me to always honor my true self, to follow passion with a greedy heart.

The Moon says beware the illusions contained in stories and dreams for they can lead you on paths that you cannot find when waking. Some will be true and helpful: others will be lies based on aimless desire, greed, or fear of risk of loss which exists no matter what action I take.

The Hermit is there to remind me to test any new input by carefully withdrawing from the onslaught of constant information and experience to test my way forward with a weightless leading foot like a wolf padding across a frozen river on a moonless night.

Somehow all these worked together this week and I managed to strike a balance. I was passionate and kind in my work. My dreams made no sense so I didn’t really know how to act on them, except one insistent message to keep moving after receiving my 2nd booster for covid, and I was feeling lousy. I pushed through a couple of days and felt better than I would have if I had stayed home. My inner hermit is always busy slowing me down, making me put out a weightless foot in case my headlong desires to get to the next thing should land me in the dark, icy waters.

I will always be playing with knobs, adjusting the balance on my collaborative process with the world. but I know I am only a small part of the process. I will have to learn to let go of the illusion that I have control over more than a tiny fraction of what I will have to deal with as I move onward into the unknown and for that I plan to continue to develop and nurture my mindful response strategies and keep my lead foot light when the going is uncertain, leaving the rest to the whimsy of the world.

in Tai Chi most stepping movements begin with an empty step in which one foot is put down with no weight and slowly the weight is shifted onto it, thus the practitioner is able to maintain options for movements in response to unexpected shifts in a partner’s position or uneven and shifting ground.