Monday Night NaNoWriMo Excerpt

All The Sparkling Fishes In the Stream

That night in Essie’s room a forest grew and became the world all around. It was a forest like the one on the Orinoco. She went down to get water from the stream behind the thatch topped house. In the water silver fishes gleamed and crisscrossing over the smooth round stones, faces into the current. She looked at the stones on the bank and found a perfect skipping rock and flung it sidearm spinning across the surface of the water. The stone glided kissing the water many times before landing on the other side with an echoing thunk which scattered the fish. They disappeared to shadows on the edges of the stream.

She was looking by the edge of the water in the singing reeds for someone, but could not remember his name. He had something to do with the fishes and a mission that had something to do with a great tree and a turtle. It was all so unclear.

She parted some cattails and saw a face reflected in the black stagnant water at the swampy brink of the stream. There was the reflection of a man with golden glowing eyes the rest of him was silhouette. She jumped back and looked behind her and there were the walls of a fortress and when she looked back there was a bridge. She knew she could wait no longer and started crossing the bridge which was a pipe about 10 feet in diameter and rope at either hand to steady her. The pipe was slippery and after slipping to one side and the other and just clinging to the ropes she decided that going backwards she could get more traction. As she reached the other side a man in white came along the wall searching and leaning this way and that.

She tried to call out but no sound came from her mouth she jumped and thumped on the pipe, but he could not see or hear her.

He came to the pipe and went down into the foliage and did not come up again. Essie waited and woke up waiting.

Maddie ran home hooting and leaping, skipping and singing. She came charging in. Debbie and Matt were once again parked amid snack foods and beer on the sofa with a movie on.

“What’s got inta you, Missy.” Debbie with attitude.

“Nothin’ jes’ happy ta be home were I am loved and respected,” Maddie sent the attitude right back.

“Don’choo talka me at way, missy,” Debbie slurred a little around the edges.

“I’m goin’ up ta do my homework. Any calls?”

“No we jus’ got back, Hey were you been all this time.”

“I left you a note. Dincha read it,” Maddie said handing her the note.

“You was out at the ol’ piss hole hunh. I din’t think nobody went there no more,” Matt said reading the note over Debbie’s shoulder.

“They don’t. I do. That’s why I go there.”

“I don’t know why you are so antisocial alla time.”

“I am not antisocial. I jus’ choose my friends in stead of lettin’ them choose me.”

“Well you better get outa my face with at attitude, Missy less you want me all up in yo face with some attitude of my own.”

“I’ll be up here studying my attitude.”

As Maddie stomped up the stairs, she heard Matt say.

“That girl gotta mouth on her. You should put her in her place,”

“Whatchoo know about raisin’ girls. I don’ need no sidelines coach.”

“Awright I’m jus’ sayin’.” Matt finished then silence.

Maddie was too wired to settle down with her schoolwork so she put on some headphones and turned on her boom box. She had it set to the classic rock station out of San Jose. It came in crackly but good enough to dance to.

It was Led Zeppelin “It’s Been A Long Time” and she began a stompy dance to Bonzo Bonham’s baseball bat beats. She always made up her own words and the moves were all hers too.

Random had studied the map before he left and knew the roads he wanted to take. They retraced their drive from Mendocino through Booneville to Cloverdale. The last 10 miles of that road was curving up and over a ridge and down into Sonoma county. They stopped for milk shakes and French fries at the Frosty Freeze in Cloverdale it was 10 O’clock am, and Random was ready to go so they ate and drank in the car. Lin loved milk shakes, wasn’t as fond of French fries greasiness and kept wiping her hands and wrinkling her doll-like nose. Random drove south to Geyserville and cut off onto 128 through the heart of wine country. They blew threw Calistoga and ST. Helena. Random had not said much and Lin and Steve dozed.

“Jack London lived around here and died about 5 miles east of here.”

“White Fang that was a great book, and Call of the Wild, I loved that one when I was kid.” Steve said.

“Did you know he was a socialist?” Random said.

“There you go bringing politics into it again,” Steve said shaking his head. “Tha man could write. Yeah, he could write.”

“He wrote a book about being a hobo and riding the rails, before Woody Guthrie and Kerouac were born.”

“Yeah, and he worked a Yukon claim too. He lived a life, Man!”

They headed on south through Napa and Vallejo and over the bridge to Martinez and Concord and up to a little town called Clayton and up a gravel road onto the mountain.

“This is Mount Diablo. When we get to the top you should be able to see at least 100 miles in every direction.” Random said as they bounced and rumbled up the rough road.
When they reached the top. They looked out over the great valley and Sacramento River delta to the north and the patchwork hills fading into flat valley to the east and south and to west hills and then City in a shroud of fog.

“On a clear day you can see the Sierras off that way, and the Pacific Ocean on the west,” Random sat down on the hood of the car and moped a little remembering the fine blue day, though the wind was bitterly cold for their summer clothes, They could see what seemed like the whole state. It was a great feeling to be alone in such vastness with someone who filled your soul and emptied it with simple gestures of her hands, movements of her lips, they way her body showed him how she felt.

“Lin’s cold, Man and she wants some lunch. That girl is always hungry, I tell you.”

“Thank you for taking me here. This whole trip has been quite interesting.” Lin said as she came back to the car.
”Your welcome, I kinda found it enlightening too.”

“And I am always up for a good weird road trip, and this was no slouch no sir.” Steve finished off the commentary as the all climbed into the car. And headed back to Steve’s place.

Random dropped them and headed back over the bridge. He walked into to his apartment at 2:15 in the afternoon and hit his message machine on his way to the fridge for a beer.

There was Emmylou’s message and a message from Bianca. He was so unraveled by the first message he did not hear what Bianca said.

3:30, thought Random I might make it if jam down the 280. He was moving out the door toward the car. Bianca would have to wait.

Ominous black clouds loomed in the southern sky and a chill wind blew. Random went to the back of the car and pulled our his jacket. He got in and roared off for the freeway south. He found an apple in the jacket pocket and realized he had hardly eaten. He ate the apple while negotiating the freeway onramp and on around past Daly City. A feeling of panic was rising in him little by little. He tried to examine it, but he could not get too close without it vanishing like smoke, drifting away staying just out of reach. As he passed Millbrae he began going through all that had happened in the past four days and trying to make some sense of the dreams and real life weirdness. By the time he reached Burlingame he had figured out it all had to do with the black bird and symbols on the cards, and then as he passed the off ramp east to San Mateo, he knew he was being manipulated by some power, but his love for Essie was more important than the feeling of annoyance at being used like a pawn in some game of spiritual chess. He passed the City reservoir, Crystal Springs, and realized he was driving along the San Andreas fault. Golf courses sprang up to the left and he was passing Stanford University and a sign for The Veterans Memorial Cemetary and Page-Mill Rd. He realized the engine was straining and looked at the speedometer. He was doing 90 and coming up on cars very fast. He slowed to 60 as he started to hit the afternoon traffic around Sunnyvale and silicon valley. It was 3 on the dot.

Posted in All part of the process, California, Check this out, Dreamtime, Family, music, NaNoWriMo, novel projects, Of the Road and The River, River of Dreams, Self-Experiments, Telling Stories | Tagged , , , , | Leave a comment

The City By The Sea/Today’s NaNoWriMo Excerpt

The City By the Sea

Emmylou, exhausted from her days labors, fell into bed picked up her book and put on her tunes, The BeatlesWhite Album”. She loved this album, so many flavors and moods. She got to the part of the book, “Of Mice and Men” where George is telling Lennie about the way its gonna be for the last time before he shoots him with the luger. She felt an overwhelming sadness for George, who had done so much to protect this poor innocent man from his own power, a power that in the end destroys him because he doesn’t understand it. George understands it, but is not able to show Lennie the responsibilities involved. George is just smart enough to know the liabilities but not educated or powerful enough to protect Lennie from himself and the world. She cried. It was like being a parent. She had protected her children but now they were out there in the world having to learn things as they went, things she wasn’t smart enough to teach them or powerful enough to protect them from. Then she had this thought that there were people out there she didn’t even know who needed her protection and teaching. What the heck could she do with that thought. She could not finish the book, because who wants to face the death of a child if you don’t have to. Steinbeck sure expected a lot from his readers, she thought.

She turned out the light and rolled and flounced into a comfortable position as Eric Clapton‘s guitar solo wept over her gently she drifted of into a dream.

She was walking toward a city across the sand of a beach. Waves broke and foamy water washed around her feet. She came to the huge brass doors 50 feet high and 50 feet wide. The symbol of a flying bird across the two half arches. They were closed for the night. The light was fading from the sky over the ocean. She knew she must get into the city to meet someone. She started the long walk around the walls. There was a well formed narrow path around and as she went away from the beach the ground was more firm. She was walking next to a small river that spread out. That’s strange I don’t remember crossing the river by the ocean. I guess there’s different rules in dreams. These thoughts seem to go on outside the person who was walking and yet that person was her. After a long while she came to a small hole in the wall just big enough that a small person could get in. She started to attempt this when she heard weeping coming from the river by a precarious looking rope and plank bridge that stretched hundreds of feet to the opposite bank. She parted some weeds and found a small woman crying bitterly. Even in the gloom she could see her clearly as her skin glowed golden against he coming night.

“Why are you crying?” Emmylou asked her heart breaking at the sound.

“He could not get through and we weel never make eet een time to wake de dreamer.”

“Can I help?”

“You’ve already done what you can do.”

“Maybe we can go do this thing.”

“No, we need the seembols. We don’t have de tools.”

Emmylou sat down next to her to think the problem out.

“What if you wait here and I will go in and find him. See if he needs help?” Emmylou suggested.

“You would do dat for us?”

“Why not it’s only a dream, right? What else have I got to do?”

“Well, Alright maybe we weel be able to make eet een time with a leetle help.”

So Emmylou went to the hole and climbed through into the dark tunnel and crept down, feeling her way crawling on the sandy floor. Finally she came to a door made of rough wood. She pushed on it and fell into a room. In the middle of the room was turtle sitting in the middle of a square pond that was covered in lily pads. Light was eminating from the turtle’s shell golden like the woman by the river.

“Ah. Here you are at last. You must wake him up so he can find his way.”

She looked around and saw a man sleeping on a pile of pillows in the corner. She walked over and shook him. He immediate sprang up and looked around frantically. It was Random only older than she had seen him last.

“I’ve got to get to her!” He shouted but not at Emmylou. He didn’t seem to see her.

He ran out through the door to a long hallway.

Emmylou woke up. It was dark. She rolled over and went back to sleep.

Posted in All part of the process, California, conversations, Dreamtime, music, NaNoWriMo, novel projects, River of Dreams, Self-Experiments, Teaching and Learning, Telling Stories | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

NaNoWriMo Daily/ A Sunday Morning in Weston

II

Essie arrived at Maddie’s around 9:00 and knocked no answer. So she went back to the motel and paid for another night, and went out to a little coffee shop on the highway for breakfast. She ate slowly and thought about her dream. She would try today to find the farm, but then she would go back to Random and they would work things out, or was that right for him,” she argued like this in her head as she chewed her toast and eggs and sipped the bitter coffee.

At about 10:30 she went back to Maddie’s and knocked again and a ragged looking Maddie opened the door.

“Come on in, but be quiet or Debbie’ll wake up and give us hell,” she whispered.

“Has anyone called?” Essia whispered a little impatiently.

“Oh, that would not be good until about noon. Lets get outta here. We really don’t want those two up now. Anyway if someone calls they’ll leave a message, right?” Maddie headed for the stairs. “I’ll jus’ go up and change and be back kick ass fast, and I’ll show you the sights, such as they are here abouts.”

“OK, I weel wait outside,” Essie whispered as she opened the door.

“Okey doke,” Maddie said as she bounded lightly up the stairs.

Maddie came down dressed in black hoody with a flaming skull on the back, long camo shorts with pockets everywhere, bright green socks and big knobby black boots. Her medium length died black hair was done up in two pig tails that stood up on either side of  the back of her head.

“Dat ees quite an outfit you have on,” Essie said smiling broadly.
”Well you know one must make an impression in the world,” replied Maddie in a snooty English accent.

Essie laughed and they moved together down the street toward the highway, Maddie talking a mile a minute about what she was going to show her. She walked backwards so that she could face Essie. Essie smiled and never took her eyes off of Maddie’s bobbing face.

Another Plan and Message for Miss Bianca

When Random got back to the house, Lucille was bustling in the kitchen and he could here Steve and Lin moving around upstairs.

“Well, you were right about the fishes. I caught one and it told me to be home by tonight,” Random said standing by the table looking out the window at the cars and the little log house. “Can I use your phone? I need to call my work.”

“Sure its in the living room,” Lucille said without looking away from her cooking.

As he went through the doorway to the living room, he nearly ran into Karen who was tottering in from the stairs bundled in a blanket.

“Oh, sorry,” Random said steadying her with his hands, “How are you doing this morning, better I hope.”

“Better and worse, I feel better physically, but its all hitting me about my dad,” she said hoarsly and Random noticed the red rims of her eyes.

“Lucille’s making something in there,” he pointed to the kitchen.

“I don’t know if I can eat much yet,” she said wincing a little and holding her stomach. Then she touched his arm and said, “I still can’t believe you brought me here after the way I behaved.”

“You and I can thank Steve for that. He talked me into it.”

She leaned her head into his chest and put one arm around him.

“Thanks anyway. You saved my life.”

Random shrugged and moved into the living as she went in to the kitchen.

He found the phone and punched in his work number and had to dial again with a one and area code and finally got the answering machine.

“You’ve reached the Research Associates division of applied psychology at the University of California Medical Center. We are not available to take your call right now but if you leave your name and number we will call you back when we are able.” It was Bianca’s most professional and slightly sarcastic voice.

“Hey, Miss Bianca this is your lovely assistant telling you that I am in Mendocino and won’t be back at work until Wednesday. Have fun with your data and if you have a message for me leave it at my house I will be home tonight to get it. “

“Always a plan. The man with the plan,” Steve said softly with a grin on his face as came down the stairs. Lin followed silently behind looking very calm, but wary.

The Buger Spot and Voices of Angels

Maddie led Essie up to The Burger Spot which was across the highway from the Stop and Shop Market. They sat out in gray but day that was neither warm nor chill. Essie had a milk shake and Maddie had a bacon double slathered with sauce and ketchup.

“I wake up hungry as a horse sometimes,” Maddie burbled around a mouthful of burger and sauce dripping down the edges of her mouth. She wiped her face and plunged in again full force.

“You don’ do nothin’ by halfway do you?” Essie said with a look mixed between awe and horror. “Ojala! Child you are una diablita. I can tell.”

“That means little devil girl. You can’t fool me I’m taking Spanish this year.” Maddie said again through a monstrous hunk of meat, bread and sauce. “My mom would agree whole heartedly.”

As they sat there came a point where neither of them were talking and no cars passed. Into the silence crept the faroff sound of voices high and low intermingling like airy spirits.

“What ees that singing I hear?”

“Oh that’s probly comin’ from the church down the street. Sometimes I go there kinda as a way to spend time on Sundays. But I ain’t been in a while. you wanna go? They’re real nice and friendly. More’n Debbie and Matt on a Sunday.”

“Shouldn’ we go an check the messages?”

“Oh nobody’ll get back to us before noon, I bet.”

“OK. Let’s go and see thees church. They have a wonderful singing at least.”

They walked up the street to the little white church like some kind of icon for pioneer life.  It was a white building with high peaked triangular roof and 2 stained glass windows on each side. One of Christ on the cross and one of the virgin Mary seated among a flock of sheep.

Church of the Living Christ

A sign out front read.  And under the name was:

This Sunday: What is Your Commitment to Love?

Essie thought it was a very fitting question. She knew Random would not understand all the reasons for disappearing, but she also thought if he loves me maybe he doesn’t have to understand everything.

They entered the church as the choir of about ten men and woman in silver blue robes sat down in the front pews. The church was dim with deep colored light coming in from the windows on the side. About 50 people sat scattered in groups of twos and threes with some lone people here and there. The usher handed Essie a program and looked sideways at Maddie’s ensemble but obviously recognized her.

The preacher was a short thin pasty looking white man with short hair and great black glasses that filled the upper half of his face.
”Good Morning! And welcome!” He shouted with sincere joy.

“Good Morning!” the congregation shouted back.

“What brings you here today?” He shouted the question loud and challenging.
”Love!” The congregation shot back strong and sure.

“Are you sure in your heart about that?” the preacher who’s voice was powerful far beyond his thin weedy frame and mild mannered looks. He spoke with fire and conviction.

“We are!”

“Then welcome all, even those who cannot say they come in love for this is a step toward love if you have not reached it yet. If you come in peace, or weary sadness of spirit, if you come in joy and rapturous longing for the spirit of Christ, if you come in boredom or curiosity welcome for you fill his house with your human spirit, Amen.”

Essie suddenly broke into silent tears at thought that she had not even thought to call Random and let him know she was alright. Suddenly she was filled with grief for his feelings of abandonment. She also wept out of fear that she might lose him because of that.

“You alright?” Maddie asked in a concerned whisper.

Essie nodded because she knew it had to be that way.

The service was long and meandering, but filled with hymns and Maddie sang like a banshee next her loud and high and off key, swaying to the music in ecstasy. Essie marveled at her ability to get lost in the moment, and instantly find another moment to be lost in.

When they got back to the house, Debbie and Matt were parked on the couch amid potato chips, dip and beer.

“Zat you, little one,” Debbie hollered when she heard the door open never taking her eyes off the game.

“Ya, hey Matt, Deb this is Essie. I met her at church. Did we get any calls?”

“I dunno, I think the phone was ringin’ when we got up, but we din’t get it.”

“Cause we was getting’ sumptin else,” Matt said pinching Debbie’s thigh.
She slapped feebly at him and looked cross.

“Now none o’ that talk around the niblet, she don’t need to hear non of your dirty mind.”

Maddie turned to face Essie so they could not see her make a gesture of a finger down her throat.

Essie shrieked with laughter involuntarily. Debbie looked up suspiciously finally getting a good look at her.

“Spider,” Essie made jumping motions and pointed at the floor. It was Maddie’s turn to laugh.

Posted in All part of the process, California, developing relationships, Family, funny stuff, NaNoWriMo, novel projects, River of Dreams, Telling Stories | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment

10 Things That Would Make America A Stronger Country

1. An intelligent and compassionate president

2. Religious people who put their beliefs into practice with humility, intelligence and deep commitment without hypocrisy. Christians who strive to behave like Jesus, Buddhists who don’t own luxury sedans etc.

3. People who vote as if their vote counted and for people who actually represent their interests rather than the interests of lobbyists or big corporations. That would mean actually looking behind the sound bites into the issues and making choices based on who is going to do what is best for the most people.

4. More outrage at being lied too and used to support policies that benefit greed and create misery.

5. Trading mindless fear reactions like building a 700 mile wall on our border for well thought out strategies to eliminate injustice and poverty everywhere in the world. This will ultimately make us safer.

6. Reduce big corporate control of media so that we can hear all the voices of our diverse nation.

7. Thinking small. Do something to make your town, neighborhood, street, home a better place to be. Millions of people doing little things everyday makes for big changes.

8. Listening carefully to others no matter how much you disagree with their position. We must try to find what unites us other than fear and hate in order to be strong.

9.Seek to forgive rather than punish: This means seeking solutions to problem behavior and figure out how to be ready for problems when they arise. Vengeance leads to a never ending loop of violence and punishment rather than solutions and healing. We still must hold people accountable for their actions, but not hating them while we do it.

10. Asking what kind of world we want for our Grandchildren and acting as if we can make it happen. If we want a strong future we have to be working for it in the present. Talk about it with people you meet. Live your values now. I swear all of this can be done with joy and courage.

The three things we must over come to make a world worth living in for everyone:

Ignorance, fear, and hate.

But, this is easy because if you just get rid of one of them the others disappear.

Posted in developing relationships, lists, make your own world, paying attention, philosophy, thinking in words, whereever you go there you are | Tagged , , | 4 Comments

NaNoWriMo Excerpt: Connecting Dots in the Plot.

Lonely tree, Dark Room, Joy and Thunder

Emmylou was settled in her bed at the usual time 9:00 with her reading light on and little boom box playing Beethoven’s 9th. She usually fell asleep to music and let it shut itself off at the end. She loved all of the 9th, its drama and moody slowness and then the festive joy and triumph at the end.  She was hoping that life would be like that, but knew in her heart that it probably wasn’t. That was OK too.

She was reading “Of Mice and Men”, but was becoming disgusted with the lack of female characters except the plot device femme fatale. She loved Steinbeck’s language, and knew he saw the male side of life because the other was not open to him at that point.

She put down the book, and lay her head on the pillow, closing her eyes lightly, letting the somber mood of the music take her.

She stood on a ridge looking down a small winding river in the gloom just before dawn. She sat down with back against a lonely snag the leaned out over the edge above her. She felt a confusion alien to her well ordered life.

She woke up heart pounding at the realness of vision and feelings.

“Thoughts like fishes sparkling,” she said in a soft incredulous voice. She never spoke to herself and the sound of her own voice against silence of the room was shocking to her.

Then way in the distance the orchestra started off on the horizon of hearing, a festive return and lead in to the triumphant Ode. The music grew enveloping her. She turned it up and felt the joy of the voices and thunder of timpani in the dark room.

The Golden Girl’s Story

“Wow! This is pretty Kick Ass!” Maddie burst out tossing the bat on the sofa and throwing body down next to it so she landed in a perfect lounging position. “What brings ya to this part of the world anyway.”

Essie smiled in spite of her deeply anxious feeling.

“I, too, had a dream. I had to find a farm that was a school and I had to find eet on my own. Eet was a turtle what tell me these.”

“Wow! And I thought my dreams were weird. But, I know a woman that runs a farm up in the hills that used to be a hippie boarding school.”

“Yes! Dat ees why I come here. I hear heem talk of thees place before on Highway 9.”

“I don’t know xactly where it is, but we should be able to call. It’s like Eagle sumptin’ farm or ranch. I’ll get a phone book.” Maddie immediately went about on a high velocity search of shelves and end tables which were all cluttered with various paper and beer and soda cans dirty dishes.

“Here it is! She held up a thin phone book and jumped over the couch landing in a sitting position already leafing through it.

“E, e, e, a, g. Here she is Eagle Tree Ranch. You wanna call. There’s the phone.” She held up the phone book and pointed to the phone.

Lone Bare Tree, Morning Gloom

Random woke just as the sky was beginning to show subtle shades of dark grays on the eastern horizon through the trees outside the window. He got dressed and pulled on his dark green hoody and zipped it up. The house was not quite completely dark and he was able to pick his way through the shadows and outside without making much of a sound. He felt like he had to put the story together in his head. It was all happening so fast. But, the cool air and gray slowly waking feeling helped to slow his thoughts so he could look at them. What had Lucille said?

Watch your thoughts like bright fishes? Not exactly, but his thoughts were bright against the gloom of the just born day and like fishes moving slow in cold water they flashed easy to see one at a time.

He climbed up a winding path slowly choosing his steps carefully, but confident that he would not fall. He reached the top of the ridge. There was bare snag leaning over a small cliff and steep slope down to the winding stream below. He saw all this in shades of grey. He sat with his back against the snag facing the east and the coming sun.

Suddenly he picked up one of his thought fishes and it said, “ Go home, messages await you.”

The rim of the sun peeked over the edge of the horizon and added colors like subtle washes of paint to the world.

MnMs and Eyes in the Night

Maddie and Essie played a game of gin rummy for peanut MnMs that Essie had in her bag until about 9:30. They talked aimlessly about life and this and that. Essie let Maddie win most of the MnMs.

“You are one sweet keed. Tanks for letting me een. Eeseet OK eef I come by tomorrow and take you out for burger or somethin’,”

“That would be super di fuckin’ duper. I got nuthin’ to do on Sunday. Debbie hangs out all day watchin’ football and drinkin’ beer. Matt’ll probly be here too, and What a loada’ thrills that is.” Maddie rolled her eyes.

Essie gave her a little hug at the door.

Maddie received it stiffly at first and latched on a little. Essie smiled and peeled away.

“Oh yeah you gotta come back to get your message anyway. Maybe I can help ya find the place, or drum up a ride. Ya’ know you could always stay here Debbie would hardly even notice.”

Essie smiled a little again. “No, but tank you anyway, I’ll sleep bedder at de motel once I get in and seddled.”

“Go quick. Oh you should go out the back that way if whoever is followin’ you won’t know your gone.”

Maddie showed her to the back door, and Essie disappeared into the night.

Maddie stood and listened, but could not even hear Essie’s footsteps. She went out front and stood on the porch peering out into the dark. She thought she caught the reflection of a light down the street in two amber eyes, but they were gone without a sound. Maddie shivered a little, stepped back in and locked the door. She turned the TV on and flipped channels for a while gave up and went to find her schoolbooks. Debbie’d have a conniption sure if she didn’t have her homework started.

Motel Dreams

Essie took off her shoes when she got around the corner and ran silently just outside the slashes and pools of light that came through from the highway.  The Motel was one block up and two over. She had to sprint across the street, but made it into the alley that ran in back of the strip mall on the corner. She ran hoping that she didn’t step on any glass or sharp metal. She made it to the next street and did not even stop but saw it was safe and scooted across the street. She slipped her shoes on and walked calmly into the Motel parking lot carrying her bag of snacks and drinks. She went to her room and locked the door. It was a small uninspiring room with a bad painting of cannery row in Monterrey. The colors were all wrong. She was suddenly struck by how tired she was and got undressed lifting her small backpack up onto the bed and groping around pulling out the oversized flannel work shirt she used as a nightgown. She changed and flopped on the bed, picking up the remote she flipped channels for a while and gave up. Saturday night TV sucked. She did not have any books to read so she switched out the light and thought about things, about Random and how she hated to leave him and the dreams of the raven and turtle and wolf. She knew the wolf had followed her from the store. She did not think it would hurt her, but there was enough doubt to make her panic and stop at Maddie’s house.

She thought about how hard it had been for her and Random these last months. They had both felt stifled and unable to find a path that included their relationship. They were from two different worlds. He didn’t understand what she needed sometimes. She wanted to move to a cheaper place and take things slower, live a little more and spend less time working. He wanted to finish his studies and work enough to keep the apartment in the city, which meant Essie had to work more too. She had felt her soul, the spirit of her youth fading into her work. Then the dream of the turtle came and told her of the farm where it all would work. She drifted off to sleep thinking of the farm in vague imagery.

She sat a long beach a mountain rose up behind her. She was watching the sun set over a completely still ocean. There were no waves. A breeze came from the north making her cold. She huddled tighter down into the sand a began to sink. She struggled to wildly to but the sand was so fine it was like air that she fell through suddenly her hand grabbed hold of another hand in the flurry of sand and held. The hand pulled and she came up looking into Random’s lovely calm face.

“There you are I’ve been looking for you,” he said.

Suddenly she knew it wasn’t safe for them to linger on the beach they must get into the city before dark or the gates would be locked forever.

“We must go now, to the city. We must run or the gates will close,” she yelled over a roaring sound. The waves had resumed their relentless pounding of beach.

She grabbed his hand and pulled him and they ran. They reached the city and slipped in as the gates closed. They clanged like and reverberated like a tremendous gong.

She dragged him through the mazelike streets she could see the wolf gaining on them as they ran. The wolf would not hurt them she was a messenger, but the message was what she feared. The came to a doorway with the symbol of a black bird in flight above it, and she pushed the door. It opened so easily they fell in Random on top of her. He was kissing her and taking her clothes off and she was rapt in his body.

“Stop!” she yelled angry and frightened, “you don’t understand we must get to the end of the hall.”

But he could not stop and she could not stop. She had to respond. His skin against hers and she felt her body explode into fire on the sandy floor. With her last sliver of composure she pulled herself free of his embrace and staggered, gasping down the hallway. At the end was a pool of water covered in lily pads she ran to the edge and fell in to cool her flaming body.

She woke drenched in sweat. Groggily she glanced at the clock it said 7:16. She gathered some clothes and went into the bathroom to take a cool shower. The fact that the wolf pursued her in her dreams and in waking left a numb little seed of terror just under the surface of her thoughts. She remembered the tales of Tegethnot and how the beings who dwell there have powers to reach out into the waking dream of life. The stories of the old Talagi krone that lived next to her mother’s house on the edge of jungle, were full of turtle, wolf, the black bird of night, and the monkey people who taught humans how to speak the magic of dreams. It was all coming back to her from the mind of her childhood. What had unlocked that vault of long forgotten stories? It was fear. The fear of losing him. Random had saved her. He had really had no choice because she knew he was hopelessly bound to her. Why did she know that? She just did.

Two Messages After Milking

Emmylou never needed an alarm clock. She woke up everyday before 6:30. She had an automatic drip coffeemaker set to make her coffee at 6:00. She got up put on her clothes went down to the kitchen, and got a big mug of coffee drinking on her way to the goats. She milked the goats and put them out in their moveable pen for the day. She carried the milk up to the house and then went down to the cows. As she walked through the house with the fresh goat milk she saw the light on the message machine she had failed to check yesterday. She’d make sure to get it after the cows. She milked the cows and brought the milk up in the dumb waiter and stowed it in the walk in. The coop people would come later for yogurt, kefir, and cheese. She never sold the milk straight.

Emmylou went to the large living room which had a fireplace big enough for one of those hanging soup cauldrons. She thought about getting one and setting it up, but never got around to it. All of the furniture in the room was at least 10 years old and the couch and armchair were from the 60’s probably left over from the school. She pushed the button on the answering machine.

“You have 2 unheard messages, new message number Saturday September 19 at 8:05 pm. Hello my name is Essie and eet ees bery eemportant that I can talk to you about de farm. My number ees 445-7893.” The beep sounded. Emmylou decided to keep the message. There was something in the woman’s voice that sounded real and desperate. She hoped she wasn’t crazy.

“Next unheard message. Today at 7:58 am Hello I am a former student at The Coop School and I would like to take a tour of the ranch sometime. My name is Random Anderson and my number is” the beep sounded before the number. Emmylou shook a little at the mention of the name. She remembered Random and had seen him a few times after they had left the school. He had been a sad little guy when he came and she had felt protective of him. During the five years he attended they had become good friends. She had suspected correctly that he had a crush on her. He had been their to see her daughter born at the school. It was his last year of high school and the last good year of the school. He was still shy and nerdy and a virgin. She was pregnant and scared and abused by Pete who was sleeping with at least three of the students. He wrote her poems and sat in the kitchen and talked with her when he was supposed to be in classes or doing chores.

She had thought of him as a little brother.

She cursed the machine as she turned at the sound of the coop truck pulling up. They were early. She walked out on the porch and waved to the woman and man getting out of the cab.

“Mornin’ Carla, Max,” she called. They waved as the walked up.

“I’ve got all the stuff you asked for on the phone message yesterday, and more if you want it.”

Carla came up with a broad smile, “You know we will take what you got, woman. We can’t keep your good stuff on the shelf.”

“I can brew some coffee if you want. I woulda had it made but you’re early today.”

“Coffee sounds good. I guess we did get an early start today,” said Max looking over at Carla.

They went in for some coffee and news.

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