I don’t know how this keeps happening. I start to put together a routine of creative thought and a life to sustain it. Some event, illness or distractions occur and it all slips away without me noticing. I have been sick and overwhelmed with a full time commuter job, and that turned my creative inspiration into fine sand that slipped through my mental fingers to be lost in the procession of days too crowded with weariness and niggling details. I am not a multi-tasker. I need time and empty mental space to process ideas properly. So I am starting again to have the time and space to grow some ideas. Although I am still not completely healthy, the distraction of long work/driving days are gone. I have finished processing the shock of my sudden dismissal and am now acclimated to the rhythm of unemployed life. My mind has started to process some ideas which I will be writing here I hope on a mostly daily basis. It feels good to be doing this. In many ways better than working at a job that is 60 miles away and so far from what I want to be doing with my life and mind.
My thoughts in the next few months are likely to be focused on two pathways.
1. What in the hell I will do to earn money. I don’t have any desire to work in daycare and preschool jobs that pay are not to be had except with Head Start and that comes with soul killing paperwork and tons of restrictions. So it seems I will be scouting a new path.
2.What ideas I will put into words and pictures? There are so many ways to go here. Since I don’t have to get up and get going at or before the crack of dawn, I can let my thoughts percolate with my coffee in the morning. Nice.
This is were I am. This is not the place I thought I would be when I started this year. It is a whole new landscape of possibilities. I will probably get lost as usual, but that has never stopped me from taking a look around.