Quick Notes on Play in a Head Start Classroom

Posted on September 25, 2007 by randomyriad

Someone asked me these questions last year in an Email, and I am looking forward to playing tomorrow as we start our second week of class so here are some of my thoughts on the real work of preschoolers and preschool teachers.

 1. Name one thing children learn when they play together.

Children learn how to share space and problem solve, how to get what they want and take into account the needs of others. Also children learn how to have fun and stay safe within limits that allow others to cooperate with them, build collaborative ideas together.

2. How many times a day do you actively play with children?

20 to 30 times in a 3 1/2 hour class period.

3. What do you like to play with children?

Sometimes I am verbally playing. At meal times I will play rhyming games or joking play or ask riddles. During outside time we do a lot of singing and movement games. I like to sit and build or use construction materials with children. We do floor puzzles in small groups. I like to have a lot of active movement and games in circle, even reading books has a lot of playful interaction that teaches children how to have fun and stay within limits.

4. Name one problem adults have when playing with children.

Each child has a different temperament and style and sometimes the adult’s style does not interact well with the child’s in play situations. Some children are very serious and focused and do like interruptions, and adults often invade children’s space without consideration. Also some adults do not know how to set limits so that whatever play is going on feels safe for everyone. Adults often do not pay attention to children’s reactions to their actions and words.

5. Name one problem adults have when they play together.

The same things, some adults are very competitive and intense when they play or may need defined rules, whereas others are more into the flow of the game and the poetry, the unfolding story of it rather than rules.

6. What is the most important thing children learn when they play together?

They learn to adjust themselves to the world which includes their behavior, attitudes and how they deal with conflicts and respond in ways the makes sense to others as well as learning that people are fun to be with.

7. Do children ask you to play with them? Constantly in many different ways. Some will clearly ask with words. Some will begin by joking with me. Some will come up and push me while smiling. Some will say something like, “Nana, nana, boo, boo you can’t catch me!” and tear off in the opposite direction.

8. At what age do children play cooperatively in groups? True cooperative play usually starts in older three year olds or younger 4 year olds. But it all depends on the maturity and temperament of the child. Sometimes younger children look like they are engaged in cooperative play, but if you look closely they are engaged in parallel play in the same area.

9. Name one thing you learn when you play with children?

I learn about the child, how she plays and at what skill level– verbal, physical and cognitive as well as social– she is operating at. I learn what she likes and is inspired by. All of this helps me plan curriculum and help the parents plan activities that will best suit the child’s developmental needs. 

 

Posted in conversations, developing relationships, lists, paying attention, philosophy, playing games, Questions and riddles, Teaching and Learning, thinking in words, working world | Tagged , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

My Favorite Uncle

Posted on September 23, 2007 by randomyriad

My mother called me on Friday night to tell me that my dad’s brother was dying that he would probably be gone in less than twenty-four hours. He is by far my favorite uncle and I have many fond memories of him all the way from childhood to recently. She called again today to tell me that he had passed away. He was about 75 years old and had been sick for many years.

His ill-health was one of the reasons I got to reconnect with him. He came to stay with my parents after assisting his wife in suicide. She had a painful, debilitating disease that was in its last virulent phase, and being a courageous and thoughtful man he helped her to end her pain. At that point he was still able to take care of himself at least somewhat. About a year later, he had to have some minor operations and his kidneys were going. I visited him in the hospital several times and learned some things about my father that helped me understand him a little better. It did not help me much in coping with his behavior, but it put pieces into the scattered puzzle picture I have of my father. My uncle also gave me an example of selfless love. Even in his debilitated condition he worked hard to reconcile my parents and their children.

He was a minister, a chaplain in the navy, and had a good and open heart. He talked loudly and laughed louder. He told corny jokes and had a million puns and he was an expert tickler. He was enthusiastic and sometimes manically so and often was not the most sensitive person, but his overbearing humor often lightened heavy moments. He struggled with depression his whole life and I think underneath all that loud laughter was an extremely sensitive man. I always got the feeling of care and interest when I was with him in his quieter moments.

My father’s relationship with his brother was often strained and critical, competitive. And in the end, I could not be in the same room with my dad when my uncle was there. My father became impossibly overbearing and critical of him as if each conversation were some kind of competition. My conversations with my uncle were always gentle and supportive and full of kind humor. He was I think a sad and gentle soul who tried to lighten his world with a laugh loud enough to chase the darkness away. I will miss him and his laughter.

Posted in Family, paying attention, Telling Stories | Tagged , , | 1 Comment

Evolution, Me & Other Freaks of Nature

Posted on September 22, 2007 by randomyriad

I just finished this novel by Robin Brande and I found it to be full of good points about how religion and science can support each other and how religion disguised as science (creationism) creates false impressions of bias in schools. There are some good examples of how the bible actually supports the theory of evolution. The book is well written from a high school student’s perspective in diary form. It was a little harsh on the fundamentalist point of view, and the protagonists parents were portrayed as two dimensional plot devices, but then a lot of teenagers see their parents this way.

Posted in Check this out, Other peoples words, philosophy, Teaching and Learning, Telling Stories, thinking in words | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

Some Nice Things That Happened In Class Today

Posted on September 21, 2007 by randomyriad
  1. A child in my class pointed to another child who she had been playing with for about 20 minutes and said, “I love him.” Now to a four year old this is not a big commitment just a efusive feeling of momentary good feeling.
  2. A conversation I had with a child: Child “I want some honey.” Me “Why do you want honey.” Child “I’m hungry.” Me “We will eat lunch in 10 minutes. First you need to go out so that I can wash the tables and get ready.” Child “I don’t want to go out. I want peanut butter.” Me “We don’t have peanut butter.” she looked shocked. “Do you have jelly?” Me “No and no honey either.” again shock. “Then how do we make sandwiches?” Me “We have macaroni and cheese today.” she summoned up all her patience and sighed (teachers are really dense sometimes) “Well, that is not sandwiches.” She turned in disgust and went outside.
  3. There were no injuries, major assaults and no one threw up or had an accident.
  4. The child that took all things out in housekeeping (our resident dump and run expert) actually helped to clean up.
  5. The rain stopped so we could go outside. We haven’t quite got our rainy day schedule completely worked out yet. Things could get complicated. I’m sure it will all be OK, but give us a couple of weeks please.
Posted in can't really complain but, conversations, developing relationships, lists, Questions and riddles, Teaching and Learning, Wacky World, working world | Tagged , , | Leave a comment

A Letter to My Dad

Posted on September 19, 2007 by randomyriad

I just came across this letter to my father. I think I wrote it last year, but I can’t really put a date on it. When I wrote it it seemed like a bunch of mixed up thoughts, not clear. Now I am not sure about the writing but it makes more sense to me. I hope my father read it with an open mind. We don’t talk much. Well we talk sometimes, but unfortunately listening is not one of my birth family’s values. I never got a response to this specifically which is probably why I forgot about it. I think it explains our relationship pretty well at least my half of it.

He really was a good Dad. He took us camping and played games with us. He rescued me several times from problems of my own design. There were so many times when we laughed so hard at things that happened. My friends from high school think of him as a great guy. But something happened in the last twenty years, since I became a parent, he drifted into his own world with the support of my mom, and it is hard to find a way in. I went out to visit my parents this last winter, but we did not have the courage to honestly discuss our relationship. My children have not seen the dad I knew. They only see the temperamental man who talks loudly and bullies people with his oppinions   and cannot stop talking to hear their voices. I suspect he is afraid of aging and losing his strength. He was always very competitive, intellectually and physically. He always wanted to be the best at what he did. He couldn’t live up to his own standards,no one could.

Dear Dad,

It is hard to know how to say things honestly without hurting feelings with a point of view. I am trying not to see the current situation between us in terms of good or bad, but just how it needs to be for a while. I think feelings have been hurt and time and perspective will hopefully restore some balance. I can only judge from my point of view. I did not make the arrangements. And, so many little things led to this point, but we can’t really resolve those. They are done. Suffice to say we are in a pickle, and I don’t know how to get out of it.

It seems it all comes down to our tenuous relationships. We don’t know each other well. I thought since I grew up with you that I would have more insight into your motivations, but I realize I really don’t know much about who you are. So much of who I am is based on who I was when I was a child or an adolescent and the continuous stream of selves that grew out of that child. I don’t know much about you as a child or how you grew to be a man before our life together nor do I know much about Mom. I know your father did not express love in tender ways or generously. I know that Mom had to do a lot of caring for her little brother. I remember a little about all of my grandparents and little snips of stories that happened when you were growing up, but not how your life was day to day and the things that you carried on into the adult world, your dreams and fears, fantasies and visions, the things that keep sprouting up when all else changes. And, even though I lived with you for all my early life, I don’t know a lot about the real struggles and pain, joy and passions that pushed you and molded your and Mom’s relationship. How can I presume to judge with such a paucity of real information.

I know that raising children for me has been a dizzying journey into a strange land, and I have so much more information at hand than you did when you started. I am not sure how much my children understand who I am. It seems in order to really communicate, we need to understand a little better who we are. We need to know why we are driven to do the things we do.

I don’t think you realize how deeply your actions hurt people, or maybe you can’t stop yourself. That only you know. And, know that I love you beyond your actions, but I can’t expose my family to those actions. I don’t know how long it will be or if you can fix it in your current state. Maybe, it’s just done. I don’t know. For me, my skin is tough. Like everyone in this family I just put it down to high spirits and misunderstandings as did Elizabeth. I think somehow our relationships have made us see the world more selfishly, always defending our positions to the death and never admitting mistakes. Maybe we need to figure this out. Maybe we don’t have to be right all the time. Maybe there’s a way to be right without someone else being wrong. I know that I can defend my mistakes into the ground. The solution, I think, has to do with being aware of others feelings as if they were an extension of your own even if you don’t completely understand or agree. Having strong feelings and opinions, but holding other people’s opinions and feelings as a sacred trust. It’s so hard to put words around it. The ideas are slippery and squirt free like a wet grape. Oh well, I’m done for now. Thanks for the note. Write more soon. I will continue pondering and trying to build word houses to hold some of this loose stuff scattered about in my head. It really is a dreadful mess up there.

Your Loving Son,

Posted in change, developing relationships, discovery and recovery, Family, thinking in words, Voices in the Chorus | Tagged , , , | Leave a comment