Myriad Ways

I have to say I have had better weeks. The winter is beginning to sink into my bones with damp and chill weighing heavily on me. All the sky does right now is seep and leak cold water and wet white slush. We glimpse the sun every now and then as it races behind the clouds toward the western horizon which it reaches about 4:30 nowadays. I must admit I was depressed and grumpy this week. The kids in my class, who are mostly three, are acting like three year olds and what’s worse they keep showing up to class, all 19 of them. It is driving me crazy. I ask their parents don’t they ever get sick, but the parents just look at me with pity and shake their heads sadly. I usually expect these things, but January’s long dark tunnel makes me drowsy and forgetful. I look around my classroom and think where did all these three year olds come from then my assistant reminds me that I am a teacher and we are in the middle of the Hokey Pokey. “I knew that.” I say nonchalantly as we put our right hands in. Last year we were snowed in for two weeks in January, so I guess it could be worse. But then I don’t have 19 three year olds at my house.

And then there’s so many other things to cheer me, like going to pick up my daughter at work on Thursday only to wait 20 minutes and find out she was waiting for me inside with an injured knee. I had to take her to the urgent care unit and wait another hour and a half to find out what we already knew that it was a dislocated knee cap (this has happened before). I was faked out again by the trick where they bring the patient back to the examining room. I thought good it is almost over. But, nooooo! Doctor’s must have a rule that a patient must sit on the little exam bed for at least 20 minutes. It’s a thing they do to break the spirit, and make the patient(why do you think they call them patients) pliant, putty in their seemingly benevelent hands. I sat out in the waiting room, when I wasn’t pacing, or napping on the floor.

Today is Saturday and mercifully free of munchkins. They are off with their parents asking them when they get to go to school again. I think that it is a conspiracy. They act like they want to come to school so they can eat play dough, sneeze on the food and scream in loud high pitched voices every time someone comes near that special red car or tries to eat some of their play dough. The parents are in on it too. They are looking forward to class day making sure that their little noodle heads are healthy and excited to be somewhere other than at home where they behave pretty much the same way.

Like I said today is Saturday, and I sit in the quiet of my slightly chilled and drafty but quiet home. I prepare myself for the onslaught with the mental disciplines of video games and short naps in between snacks. If I keep to this strict regimen I will be ready for any of their diverse, devious and seemingly random acts of looneyness. Next week I will be prepared.