This year I am resolved not to make any resolutions. OK maybe one resolution: To take stock daily of the present situation and release the past to its proper place. I will continue to grope through my life making changes as I see the need. Each day will be my new year. That way I can take advantage of every minute of the life that I am living now. A resolution to do anything focuses my attention on that thing when small, quiet miracles may go unnoticed. If it is so not a part of my life now that I have to put it there through such concentrated effort, maybe I am forcing something in where it doesn’t fit.
I am not saying my life is perfect, 0r that I will not be working hard at tasks that are important to me. But I have found that I sometimes work too hard trying to fit things in my life that ultimately bring nothing but frustration. I have begun to realize that although I make resolutions that doesn’t mean they are right for me or actually make any kind of sense in the long run.
My vision is limited and I often miss the clues that tell me I should be on a different path. I have spent too much time working toward goals that ultimately turn out to be dead ends that could easily have been avoided if I had been paying closer attention to what was happening in the present. I am sure I will still make mistakes, but maybe I will be able to avoid paths that lead ultimately to cul-de-sacs of self-deception that take years of struggle to escape. I am still paying for some of my past resolutions.
My resolution this year is not to resolve anything, but to take each moment as it comes and do what seems right in that moment. Maybe by improving each moment I can make everything move toward a place that is right for me.
I will make no lists or time lines. I will not make any affirmations or goals, not today. Maybe tomorrow something will occur to me that seems like a good way to go, but today I am traveling without a map. Maybe the treasure lies in a place that is just beyond the edge of the paper, or hidden in a crease. I will look at the landscape and ground and the sky and see what the world will tell me, and look to the people around me for directions as well. I am sure I will find my way to a place worth being.