“People wish to be settled; only as far as they are
unsettled is there any hope for them.”
As I write or avoid writing, I look out the window and see the parade of storms and light passing on the horizon.
This March has been especially interesting with every possible expression of weather like a sampler of clouds.
Some days it is so changeable that even if I look out every five minutes I see a completely different arrangement of light and clouds.
It is easy to be pulled away from my work, but it is also my work to observe what is happening with the sky.
My work is whatever draws me to it. It is my magnet.
I am drawn to some thoughts and ideas. Anatomy and physiology was my main work in March. I am finished with my class but the study of the structures and processes of the human body still draw my attention. I am continually amazed at the complexity and simplicity of design and wonder at how it all fits together to make a creature capable of the complexity of thought and action, or simply appreciating clouds as they pass
What Emerson is talking about in the quote above is not being unsettled in body, but in mind and spirit, to be ever curious and amazed at the world and thoughtful of events in the world. The dangerous thinkers in our world are not usually the ones who are searching for truth but the ones who have settled on what they think is truth. There is a false peace in that kind of settling. The truth is more like clouds each situation demands that you look closely and use imagination to unlock what truth is there. Every day brings different clouds and patterns of light and shadow for you to sift through, if you only have one truth you will not appreciate or imagine new skies.
I am trying to balance my thoughts between my future and my present. I try not to worry too much about my past these days, just enough to avoid the pitfalls I have already experienced. I am focused on getting my paperwork and prerequisites for the physical therapist assistant program, but I am also trying to continue reading and writing and art. I have a new job at as an assistant teacher in a daycare, which suits me just fine. I love having the interactions with developing thinkers. They continually surprise me. How will I maneuver this conglomeration forward and keep my family connections strong is my challenge. It is a lot like trying to keep track of a herd of clouds in the windy March sky.
I will probably be moving my office space to a downstairs room with a more limited view to accommodate Mary’s redecorating plans. I wonder how that will affect my work. Maybe my thoughts will be more down to earth, less flighty and abstracted, but I doubt it. I am pretty sure most of the clouds are in my brain and the sky magnet draws my attention because it mirrors the ever shifting chaos that is my normal state of mind.