The Art of Narration I: Maurice Evans Reads A. A. Milne

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Tarot Journal #21: Father of Feathers/10 of Disks(Prosperity)

Expanding into the Calm

I am aware that there are some big changes on my event horizon, but for now, all is good. Change is inevitable that doesn’t mean I can’t enjoy the times between the storms. The wind will blow and ruffle my feathers again. Right now will soak the peaceful bright days into my soul and prepare for what can be prepared for and allow my mind to settle into a state of relaxed vigilance for opportunities to expand and create.

Posted in All part of the process, change, Fools Journey, mindworks, my life, my mystic toolbox, philosophy, Self-Experiments, thinking in words, Works in Progress | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

2022 Graphics Journal Page #20: May 3O – June 12

CartoBiography II

Posted in Abstraction, All part of the process, California, Collage, doodles, Family, Fools Journey, my life, Self-Experiments, Works in Progress | Tagged , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Tarot Journal #20: Nine of Wands (Strength)/7 of Cups/2 of Disks (Change)

Balancing on the Beam of Now

I am in the anticipatory stage of moving out of the apartment I lived in for 7 years, most of that time with my now not living partner and off and on with my adopted grandson, who is now back with his father. I have been living here on my own for 8 months in which I have been developing some mindful practices and adjusting my attention to the present moment. I am getting better at maintaining a balance, not over-planning for the future or forgetting the nuts and bolts logistics that keep my life in the present stable and open to possibilities. I have come from a very dark and chaotic place of isolation and trauma into a relatively calm space in which I am able to manage my feelings as they come up and make plans based on reality not fear of loss or added trauma. I am feeling stronger emotionally and physically than I have in years.

The main reason for this improvement in my way of approaching my life has to do with maintaining balance and paying attention to thoughts and feelings as they arise. Mostly it has to do with remaining attentive to the present moment, responding and engaging rather than reacting and guarding. I have been exercising my whole being so that I can be open and confident with change, which is the constant state of life even at its most stable. So I am both stronger and more flexible, more proactive and less fearful, setting open-ended goals that leave space for developing relationships. Mostly I am learning to hold possessions, feelings, thoughts, and fears more lightly, not rejecting them, but letting them go if I will be able to operate with more ease and engagement with each moment.

I will need structure and flexibility, strength with the honest assessment of weakness, engagement and solitude, activity and calm all these opposites pulling. I will seek the balance in each moment that suits me and keeps me awake and aware, ready for the next moment coming just now.

Posted in All part of the process, Being Human, change, Chaos and Order, discovery and recovery, mindworks, my life, my mystic toolbox, paying attention, philosophy, Self-Experiments, thinking in words, Works in Progress | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment

Tarot Journal #19: 10 of Disks

Keeping the Important Pieces in the Right Places

I have been preparing to move for a while. I just began looking at housing options, timelines, and scheduling. Just kind of setting parameters and narrowing down strategies. Yesterday plans and little nagging worries began to pile up in my mind. I felt like there was no way to handle it all. Then I realized I was the only one I had to please in this situation. As long as I continue to arrive at work most of the time and stay connected with my external life, if there happen to be a few glitches in the process that I don’t foresee, it may be a little frustrating and I may end up having to leave some things behind but worrying about it will probably make the situation worse. I am almost sure something like this will happen because I am not very good a logistics and organization. I tend to do some planning and worry, but end up procrastinating and have to go through a flurry of furious motions at the last minute, usually dropping a few small balls in the process. That is my way. I usually maintain most of my sanity and possessions with minor losses.

My life is going pretty well at this point and I am trying not to hold on so tight to things and visions of the future so I decided to adopt a, not necessarily careless, attitude, but one of acceptance for a reasonable amount of loss amongst so much recent prosperity and the general chaos that is moving. In other words, I decided that not everything I possess or even care about has to make it with me to my final destination. If there are a few bumps or last-minute late-night maneuvers that have to be negotiated, I will deal with those as they come up, just like I always do.

I plan to be diligent within reason, take advantage of opportunities to increase my life connections, and maintain my current increasing level of joy and openness to whatever presents itself to me while I move my life to a new home. I will move, and almost all of what I want to keep in my life will come with me. My focus will not be on fear of loss, but on maintaining my sanity and maybe even developing an increased feeling of belonging to this community as well as a new address.

Posted in All part of the process, Being Human, change, Chaos and Order, Fools Journey, House and home, mindworks, my life, my mystic toolbox, paying attention, Self-Experiments, thinking in words, whereever you go there you are, Works in Progress | Tagged , , , , , , , , , , | Leave a comment