“In the middle of winter I found that there was within me an invincible summer.” Albert Camus
This week and much of this month I have been falling into old patterns of thought. I have been feeling overwhelmed and harried, and have been shutting down and slipping into avoidance and inaction which ultimately leads to depression. I have had that feeling of cold seeping in under the doors of my mental processes and freezing me into inflexibility and narrowing my focus to worry.
Well today I am throwing the doors wide to the sun and the cold and opening my soul to the world. I will face the positive and negative as light and shadow defining my world, and see the balance. Earlier this week I felt like I needed to get away from my life, but now I feel I need to climb all the way into it and be it, own it. I want to find the invincible summer inside me. And I will.
First I need to be reasonable and not expect everything (weather, work, relationships) to go smoothly all the time, and I need to take control of those things I have control over (mood, actions, reactions etc.).
I need to find balance in thought and action, mind and body. I need to put healthier foods into my body and get more sleep. When I am tired I waste a lot of time on empty tasks and spend much of my day unfocused.
I realize that I am a complete person, a person who has good ideas to share with the world, and the way to do this is to keep my mind clear of moody clutter and just write, move in the world, teach and learn as I go.
I am on a journey. There is no right or wrong way to go. It is my attitude and my energy that light my path. I will travel a bright road and be a light for other travellers.
I will to fight worry with action. Worry is a useless time consumer, and if I can’t do anything about something, I will use my time for something positive. If I can act to resolve something, I will do so.
I am fortunate to have people who care for me, enough to eat, and a warm house that meets all of my needs. I have a good life. I feel gratitude for my wonderful life.
I am master of my words, and will use them to communicate my stories and visions. My words are an extension of my mind in the world, and I will use them share the light and shadows of my world as I continue to explore it, as I read to discover the worlds other people are busy exploring.
There will be times when I am disappointed with things as they turn out. I will be discouraged and unhappy with the way I handle situations, but I have the power to shape myself. The power of dramatic change to use my emotions and intellect to learn and grow.
The world is heaven. The world is hell. I will ride into the night with my torch fearlessly blazing, bearing my vision of heaven into the world. Hell is heaven’s shadow and at times I must face it to take my bearings, but without my vision of heaven as a map, I will lose my right path.
Laughter makes burdens lighter and brings courage to the battle. I have a sense of humor that will keep me going when my road grows dark. As Woody Allen said, “Yea, as I walk through the valley of the shadow of death, make that run, you get through the valley much faster that way.”
Victory and strife go hand in hand you can’t have one without the other. The trick is to keep a positive attitude and hope when you are struggling.
I must be kind to myself so that I can be kind to others, and I will not let fear rule me. There have been to many times when I treat others with cruelty because I cannot forgive myself or fears overwhelm me and I loose perspective. I punish myself and everyone around me. Cruelty in any form is unacceptable. It creates misery and fear which generates more cruelty. Vicious cycles are hard to break. Forgiveness, kindness, and compassion need to start internally then move into the world, and the power of these three can stand up to any evil in the end.
I have strength and passion that will help me overcome the darkness that sometimes looms over me and threatens to overshadow my life. I will use my flame. I will shine.
The final step is to have the courage of commitment, to know that sacrifice and hardship are only negative when they are undertaken with fear of failure in your heart. Always hope and knowledge that light will overwhelm darkness is the key. Stay in the light. Be the light. Shine!