Tarot Journal #50: The Tower/ 6 of Cups (Pleasure)/ Mother of Feathers/ Queen of Cups (Contemplation)

I

I have been experiencing pain from things that I possess as I move them out of my recently vacated apartment. Most of them I brought with me, but I have acquired a few more over the past 5 years with Roberta. I have not gone through a thoughtful assessment of what I want to take and what needs to be living with someone else. So I am moving way too much stuff. Things that have acquired emotional ties, but that I will never use or appreciate for their purpose. It is too late to make hard decisions so I will move it all out and decide later what makes sense to keep. Anyway, I wish you healthy emotional attachments, namely gratitude, with all your possessions and relationships.

II

I am discovering again that which I continually have to teach myself. There is power and joy in doing work that has to be done if I can see and judge my progress, but also in just using my intellect and body, and will to complete a difficult task. At the end of each day, I am amazed at what I accomplished and as I am working through each of the smaller tasks, planning my steps, and monitoring my bodily mechanics, I have joy in my body that overcomes pain and fatigue. I feel lucky to have a body and mind and tools that function as well as they have so far. I am exhausted at the end of the day and wake up to pain in places I have not felt in while, but with a little ibuprofen and stretching and coffee, I am ready to begin again until this job is done, hopefully. And, though this work will end, there will always be more to do and that will be whatever it is. I can only be doing what I am doing now if I want the moment to inspire me.

III

After work and moving stuff from my previous apartment, I was cooking a pot of spaghetti with sauce bubbling nicely and some gentle middle eastern music wafting in from my computer in the living room which at this point is strewn with boxes mostly unpacked. All was peace and the labor of the day was falling away when the power went out. Suddenly I was in catastrophe mode, cursing and rummaging for emergency lighting so I could salvage my meal. Which, I did.

I took my pasta and a beer and went out to eat as the sun was setting through the trees and the downstairs neighbors were playing with their cats which were tethered with twine to harnesses. They gently followed the cats around the grassy area outside their back door having quiet conversations with each other and the cats. When the woman downstairs noticed me standing at my rail. We talked about the power outage and how the cats like to watch the bunnies grazing on the lawn through the screendoor. We did not exchange names or any details about our lives that couldn’t be seen or known without asking. We were just people experiencing a power outage on a warm pleasant evening. People who just happen to be living in the same building now. I can’t recall any interactions over the last few years as calming and reassuring. At some point, we wandered back into our respective apartments and continues our quiet evening lives.

This entry was posted in All part of the process, Being Human, bodyworks, can't really complain but, capturing light, change, Chaos and Order, conversations, delusions of progress, developing relationships, discovery and recovery, Fools Journey, House and home, Life with Animals, Loss and Leaving, mindworks, my life, my mystic toolbox, paying attention, philosophy, Self-Experiments, summer, thinking in words, Works in Progress and tagged , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , . Bookmark the permalink.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out /  Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out /  Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out /  Change )

Connecting to %s

This site uses Akismet to reduce spam. Learn how your comment data is processed.