Beginning the Journey: Glimpses of Undiscovered Life

As I put all the finishing touches of my planned move in place, all these mundane tasks having to do with cashier’s checks and finding help for tasks I cannot accomplish on my own, I find my dream life exploding into vivid sound, color and expanding into original territory some very sensual, but not very sexual. They are more about living intimately with people I am not familiar with in my waking life, like someone else’s memories in dream images. These dreams are impossible to contain in a narrative or even words like a Salvador Dali painting or some of David Lynch’s best movies, trying to describe it can only leave the audience with a pale shell of the actual experience.

I have not had a lot of time this week to focus on what to do with all of this unconscious creative activity as all the boxes are being checked off on my to-do list are getting done. I have to remain focused on niggling details and my job has been mostly full days lately, so I have to do all the extra tasks around work hours. There is not much time to dedicate to parsing dream imagery to figure out exactly what my unconscious mind is trying to tell me.

It is Saturday so I have little room to look around at my past week. As the dust settles from all the phone calls and moving things about and arranging, I find that the dreams of this last week have melded into a feeling of hopeful dread. There is an image of dark skies and torrential rain in a tropical Asian country as I look out of a bamboo-framed window. A naked woman falls on top of me as I am having a conversation at a boring party, sending me sprawling, and as I recover I realize that it is the woman I was talking to and we have known each other for years and have lived together (not in my waking life). These dreams have the feeling of lasting years or containing years’ worth of memories crammed into a few images as if I have been living a different life each night, but when I wake up I only have one or two vivid scenes from each.

I am only moving about 10 miles away from my present location into another apartment, but I have a feeling of coming out of a long sleep and my dreams seem like future real-life remembered. Somewhere in between seems like where I will find whatever is in store for me. It has been so long since I have done anything but little jabs at creative work. Like the Fool, I feel I am at the end and beginning of a life that keeps me spinning in circles. Time to reboot and refresh and take off into the dream that is born out of where I have been combined with expanding ideas of who I am and how I interact with the world. Without changing a lot I feel I am moving into an undiscovered country of possibilities for experiential and creative exploration.