This should be a good starter for writing at least 2 or 3 blogs a week or more. I have the time: all I need is the inspiration and motivation.
Pat called around 10:00 in the morning just as I was getting up. We talked about nothing as usual. It was very pleasant.
Last night Mary, Dustin and I played hearts until 2, taking a break to toast the new year with juice and wine. We all agreed that if Pat were here, we would all be losing.
This allegation thing is a little unsettling and creeps around the my thoughts. Some paranoid thoughts about extrovert investigation. What if they seize my computer? But, really it will probably just be dealt with and I will go back to work.
From The Year in Review: December 2010
I went back to work today, and in the middle of organizing my classroom, I was called into the office and confronted with an allegation of child abuse by one of my clients. I was baffled and in shock. Then my director came and told me she had faith in me, but she had to put me on administrative leave with pay until the investigation was over. I spent 3 long days on administrative leave. I was not too fearful. I was just anxious to be there with my colleagues starting the new quarter with my class. I am so thankful for the emotional and administrative support I got during this ordeal. It made a huge difference in my attitude.
I am not at work today. How strange to say goodby to Mary at 6:15 and stay here writing (Not so strange anymore here in unemployed August).
I am working on Old Nick Harrington’s character for Mazeland. (A novel that I started on winter break and is now buried somewhere on my hard drive. I will have to dig it up and see where I left off.)
A walk to Hardware Sales so inspiring:
Soft stretchy rope, clear acrylic tubes and rods,the varieties of wire, clothes pins and lines, wire screens.
on the way home ice puddles broken into odd puzzle shapes.
Second day of administrative leave, and I am trying to stay positive and writing. It is working mostly, but I am becoming a little anxious.
I want to get started on some projects in my classroom.
I am working on the blog review of last year. I am up to April.
I forget to eat when I am writing. Maybe I would not remember to breathe if it wasn’t automatic.
I have to remember this feeling of being a writer writing, always in writing mode. Maybe I can continue this out in the world.
I am feeling left out. I have heard from no one.
Later that day, my supervisor called me and told me to come back to work.
Finally I was back at work. I started a sculpture project at work based on Andy Goldworthy’s work. I brought in books and natural materials to work with and started conversations by asking “What is sculpture?”
I have been running the tape of my interaction with C (a parent of a challenging child). I know I betrayed some of relationship we had worked so hard to develop, but I also know that I cannot hold every client in my mind firmly after a month off. I still care about her and want to do my best to have positive interactions with her that move her into a positive role as a parent. But, I cannot be perfectly in tune with every person that walks into my classroom. I would not be myself. My fault was not honoring the moment. She has to be aware of her child’s behavior. I just chose the wrong timing for her.
I worked on my blog all day, redesigning. Mississippi Mind Map disappeared for some reason. I have to start thinking about tomorrow and the week ahead.
This week we will continue our sculpture project. I am excited to see what my students will bring to it. My assistant teacher, S is so enthusiastic and ready to go. I am going to let her take some leadership on the studio work. I have some ideas about smaller activities. My part time assistant will also have ideas. I work with a very creative and inspired team.
Snow blankets the town, but I am pretty sure I will get to work tomorrow.
C (the parent) and I both apologized and had a nice conversation. S (my assistant) also checked in nicely with her. I am feeling like we have a good shot at giving her some support in her parenting and in moving ahead with her life.
Mary is at work this evening and I am in bed. She is working nights at a nursing home, and comes home around 11:30. I get up at 4:30 or 5:00 and get home after she has gone to work.
We watched part of Andy Goldsworthy‘s “Rivers and Tides” today in class. Lambs were being born in the segment we watched. The children were entranced and curious. Some died. This lead to some questions and a lively discussion. I did not specifically choose this segment to show them. I was just moving through the video showing them ice sculpting and his work with the tides. And there they were, lambs being born. Sometimes the strongest curriculum comes from unplanned events. I am sure this will lead us in an interesting and challenging direction.
I am working on a way to make my life make sense no matter what bumps and jolts shake me.
Mary is sleeping late. I am moving forward with my writing plans. I have no idea where it will lead me.
All of this seems so far away now, but I can still feel the energy that I was getting from writing and the project work in our class. When I went back to work I had very little time to write, but I was still finding bits and pieces around the edges. The last month and a half I have had a lot of time but no inspiration. Just reading these journal entries and thinking about how crazy our schedule was, I am amazed at the enthusiasm I was feeling at the time. I am getting some of that back now.